growing up i can't count how many times i heard adults say that time was flying by, or that everything goes in fast forward after you have kids. It seemed to just be something everyone said and nodded in agreement about. well guess what? they were right!
it is unfathomable that next month Joel & I will have been married for 7 years. impossible that our little tiny Leland is 4 years old. outrageous that sweet pea Emmy is 2 going on 20. heartbreaking that Oliver is already 3 weeks old. My heart is full, my eyes are tired and my memory isn't sharp enough for the baby days to go by so quickly.
Today I was lamenting the lack of a quality camera to capture every newborn moment- the sleepy blue eyed gaze, the quick (gassy?) smiles that appear and disappear in a blink, dimples and wrinkles and messy baby hair. But i want to stretch myself and remember in my heart too, not just in photos- to really soak it all up, store it away.
It's been a rough week. I'm feeling pretty great emotionally. I feel more normal than i did with either of the other babies. I don't have the feeling of being hormonal and unbalanced, which is *great*, and I praise the Lord.
That having been said, there are moments where it's just incredibly overwhelming with these ages and stages. Having a bossy, ahem- *helpful 4 year old, an independent & sassy 2 year old and newborn is just that way.
When Oliver is only waking once in the night to eat, and the kids are mellow, we have a manageable and even wonderful day. When he's going through a growth spurt and eating ever 3 hours through the night, Emory has decided to hit the teenage angst period ten years early and Leland is the source of that angst, not so much :O)
So today i received a daily devotion via email which included this verse: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29. It really struck a nerve since i've been reading Grace Based Parenting and there is a great emphasis on meeting your children's emotional/spiritual needs. I know when i'm short on sleep & patience i'm not responding in a way that builds them up according to their needs, and i cannot tell you how many times today i have bit my tongue, prayed or rephrased something after reading this scripture.
My sister is currently reading the book 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voscamp. She tweeted this quote from the book : "...how long do I really have to figure out how to live full of grace, full of joy...before my mothering days fold up quiet?" It spoke straight to my heart and i headed straight to her website to devour some encouragement and help. Please do the same! There are free printable helps that i can't wait to get up on a wall. Turns out Ann is sweet soul, homeschool mom, farmer's wife, and writer. A kindred spirit for sure. This post on calming the storm is the big brother to what i've been trying with Leland in his frustrated/belligerent moments, and this post on having a home of prayer has my wheels turning. I won't even start on the literature and book lists or i'll be here all day :O)
So today has been a bit up and down. Madness one second and grace the next. I need the grace more than the kids.
Can't wait to print this out and see how God transforms our moments, days and weeks through it. Hope you are blessed too!
1 comment:
Elise, I love your little family. I'm sure you have more grace about you than you think.
I can see it from here (in California ya know)
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