again with the ER, for Pete's sake.

and this time, it was actually me!

So sorry to be missing from blog land friends,
especially after a few rather blah posts.

Unfortunately i have been under the weather a bit and the blog took one for the team, yet again.

i've been having a pretty boring pregnancy this time, other than my usual hip pain and usual first trimester symptoms of tired & queasy. recently i'd been having some digestion (or lack there of) issues (sorry, i know it's more than you want to know) and some general discomfort which then morphed into intense abdominal pain on my lower right side.
i've also had about 2% of my normal appetite for about 2 weeks.
none of that was super alarming until the bad pain that started early morning Tuesday of last week.
It got so bad and was in such an isolated place that i began to think that it might be appendicitis.
After googling the results of *not seeking treatment immediately with the condition during pregnancy i decided it was better safe than sorry and headed to the ER at Anderson, which is right by our house.
(remember my Dr is in Mt. Vernon)
at the time of my arrival i wasn't able to walk, sit up, or really move with out pain.
to make a long story short(er) the pain increased, they ruled out lots of things and were of the opinion that it very well could be the appendix but didn't want to jump the gun and risk surgery with out knowing more for sure, but didn't want to do a CT scan.
they talked about keeping me over night to watch me and operating if the pain didn't get better, or doing a lapriscopic scope to check the appendix if necessary. when they talked about possible surgery there i wasn't comfortable with that possibility, after meeting the 75 year old, MEAN surgeon who was on call and the experiences that i had with the staff so far and also the experiences our friends & family have had with their surgeries at Anderson. If there was any chance of surgery i didn't want it to be there, mostly for my baby's sake.
So i was transfered to St. Mary's in STL (first trip in an ambulance) which has a great OB/high risk pregnancy reputation and would have much more experience with the operation in this situation.
St. Mary's was like a breath of fresh air. They ended up doing a CT scan but at a much lower Rad level so it would be safer, and were able to tell that the appendix was okay. They said it was probably broad ligament pain and sent me home.
Joel and i got home about 4 am Wednesday night and just passed out in bed.
the pain had subsided LOTS by this time and even though i was uncomfortable and exhausted i was just glad that we didn't have surgery. The pain was so intense and in the exact place you would have pain if you had appendicitis that i was almost positive that's what it was... surgery of any kind is one of my worst nightmares so i was trying not to think about it.
I'm very grateful for the help from our families watching the kids and staying with me, and for all the prayers, concern & encouragement from our friends.
I have an appointment at my OB office this week so hopefully i will get some more info/answers then.

my main concern at this point is the effect of the radiation from the CT scan on our sweet baby.
I'm really fretting about it because of a mistake on my part.
since the beginning of finding out we were pregnant our dates gave us one due date and then the measurements from our first ultrasound gave us a later one. So in my head i've been keeping track of both and saying "8-9 weeks" or "13-14 weeks".
Well when we went to St. Mary's i was thinking i was in the "13-14 weeks" range and told them that, i gave them my due date but also my last start date (again, SORRY!) and they proceeded with the CT scan saying that since were out of the first trimester the dramatic development was completed as far as brain, heart etc. This made it safer to do the radiation. Radiation changes cell structure which is not good for developing babies, of course. Because i was out of the first trimester and the level of radiation would be significantly less it was decided that we really needed to go ahead to make sure that even if i felt better there wasn't the chance of me going home, my appendix then rupturing later and losing the baby & me too. so we went ahead and did it and i felt like that was a valid decision.

after coming home i looked at my calendar and saw that i was really in the 12-13 week range, really 12 1/2 weeks by the due date given from my ultrasound, on the day i did the CT scan.
SO! i've been having a really hard time not being consumed with the "what ifs" of the effects of the CT scan on the baby.
I've felt like a bad mom, stupid, scared and then REALLY scared.
i know that God is in control but i'm still loosing sleep and sanity over it.
If you have a moment please pray for baby's healthy development and my peace of mind. I know there are so many with more pressing and frightening situations with their babies/pregnancies but would still love your prayers.

sorry for the downer post! i really am so thankful that we didn't have surgery or expose baby to the risk of infection or complications in that way.

one last bit on my experience at Anderson. I'm not a super high maintenance patient, especially in the ER where i know that there are critical cases coming in all the time and you don't always get priority. This ER experience started out okay and went down hill pretty quick.
the nurse who came in once i was in my room had an attitude of superiority from the get go. She lectured me about my Dr choice, she belittled me and she obviously thought she knew everything.
Don't get me wrong, i know that nurses have a VERY hard job, that is VERY demanding and often have VERY long days. this lady was just mean. i let her know when she was getting ready to put my i.v. port/thingy to draw blood that i have very small, difficult veins, that unless you put in on the left arm, in this one particular spot you will probably end up blowing my veins and spending lots of time searching. she said, "mmhmm. right." and continued to look on my right arm and then proceed to stick me, dig around and blow my vein. then she decided to give the spot i showed her a try.
this is the result of her not giving a hoot:



the left arm left zero bruising and went in the first time with out digging, imagine that.

anyway. i'm home, i'm feeling okay and i'm trusting that things will work out.
We had an AMAZING Thanksgiving weekend break, have our Christmas tree up and can't get enough of Christmas songs around the house:O)
hopefully this week i will share a bit about getting our tree and getting our family pictures taken- that should be a bit more enjoyable for us all!